in the end

jezzii @ 2008-06-05T01:26:00

2008-06-05T05:38:27Z

Refreshed.

Holding tight, I'm ready to go.

jezzii @ 2008-05-22T04:05:00

2008-05-22T08:05:39Z

i can't tell if my days are getting better or worse.
i feel somewhat on track, but my emotions are getting the better of me.
the disappointment i've brought upon my self has been sitting on my shoulders for the past year or so. i feel the weight too much to handle, pushing me further and further into the ground. the past haunts me too much to deal with my current reality and my future. maybe i'm just too pessimistic, i think i'm just a realist. maybe i'm not making sense. maybe i need to stop letting him get to my thoughts. i feel controlled.

why cant you fade away? i faded.

hey

2007-02-14T08:24:32Z

cheer up jess.
i love you a lot.
you will find a good
boyfriend and he will make
you happy, and if he doesnt
i will gladly kill him for you.
I LOVE YOU DONT DELETE PLZ

your gothlic bff 4ever

jezzii @ 2006-10-05T14:37:00

2006-10-05T18:35:17Z

Your LiveJournal Pirate Crew
LiveJournal Username
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest!
Cutlass or pistol?
What is the name of your pirate ship?
Where is your secret pirate base?
What kind of loot do you prefer?
What do you and your crew prefer to be called?
Parrot or monkey?
Argh!

Your capable first mate	comeonwithefear
Your bumbling cabin boy with a heart of gold	angelfetus
The aloof, yet honorable, pirate with a mysterious past	your_fake_smile
Is always the first one into the fray	kittyfuk
Is the naval officer who ruthlessly pursues your ship	trippzero
Is the comical pirate who is always drunk on grog	xlivingdreamsx
Is currently in Davy Jones's locker	lilmushroom
The amount of money you make as a pirate	$101,243


This Fun Quiz created by Lynn at BlogQuiz.Net

Libra Horoscope at DailyHoroscopes.Biz

jezzii @ 2006-09-22T12:16:00

2006-09-22T16:16:44Z

It's my fault.

FUCK.

jezzii @ 2006-09-22T07:34:00

2006-09-22T11:36:22Z

I'm sorry.

I should have waited to tell you.

jezzii @ 2006-09-20T18:14:00

2006-09-20T22:17:15Z

I am infatuated with our talks.
You make me feel so... listened to.

I really can't wait until this weekend with you.
It's going to be a blast!

ANYWAY --
What should I do?!?

jezzii @ 2006-09-16T14:14:00

2006-09-16T18:19:49Z

I hate how you can control every part of me.
My emotions, my actions, my thoughts...

This is what scares me.
This is why I have to get away.

You're my weakness; I absolutely hate it.

jezzii @ 2006-09-14T12:58:00

2006-09-14T16:59:14Z

What's that smell?

I smell a really nasty breakup... or at least that's what I think it is.

jezzii @ 2006-09-06T06:22:00

2006-09-06T10:24:43Z

something is on my mind and i need to write it down but i just don't know what it is

jezzii @ 2006-08-14T19:24:00

2006-08-14T23:25:32Z

I think I'm already suffering from senioritis.

jezzii @ 2006-02-23T11:18:00

2006-02-23T16:21:25Z

One day someone's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you!"
¸...¸ __/ /\____
,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ //____/\
```)¨(´´´ | | [1] | | [1]| | |[1] || |l±±±± ¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°
So while we have it . . . it's best we love it . . . and care for it and fix it when it's broken . . . and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage ... and old cars . . . and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hips and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
; ¸...¸ __/ /\____
,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ //____/\
```)¨(´´´ | | [1] | | [1]| | |[1] || |l±±±±
¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°
Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.
¸...¸ __/ /\____
,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ //____/\
```)¨(´´´ | | [1] | | [1]| | |[1] || |l±±±± ¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°
Life is important, like people we know who are special . . . and so, We keep them close!
¸...¸ __/ /\____
,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ //____/\
```)¨(´´´ | | [1] | | [1]| | |[1] || |l±±±±
¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°
I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! I then sent it to the people I think of in the same way. Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are "keepers" in your life.

¸..¸ __/ /\____
,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ //____/\
```)¨(´´´ | | [1] | | [1]| | |[1] || |l±±±±
¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°

Thank you for being a special part of my life!

¸...¸ __/ /\____
,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ //____/\
```)¨(´´´ | | [1] | | [1]| | |[1] || |l±±±±
¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°

You're a Keeper

jezzii @ 2006-02-06T17:56:00

2006-02-06T22:57:58Z

Alright. I forgive everyone for everything that's ever happened.

Literally, I forgive all of you for anything you ever did to yourselves, to me, or to anybody else.
Bettina, Kay, Jen, Amber, fuck, whoever.
It's kind of funny how I'm forgiving my four old best friends that I don't even talk to anymore.
But yeah, I forgive you all.
Let's make out. Just kidding.

jezzii @ 2006-01-19T06:39:00

2006-01-19T11:39:56Z

I didn't get one phone call on my birthday. (Jan 6.)
But at least I had my boyfriend.

jezzii @ 2005-12-24T22:51:00

2005-12-25T03:51:26Z

merry xmas
ba-humbug.

jezzii @ 2005-12-17T09:12:00

2005-12-17T14:16:40Z

I got a new computer.
HP Media Edition 200 gigs, AMD Athlon 64-bit 2.2ghz processor. It's beautiful.

I'm actually... both extremely happy and extremely clueless with getting a new computer.
I hadn't had one for like, a month, and I did a lot more things and everything.
And now that I have a computer, I know that won't be happening as much because... I'm a computer geek.
It happens.

I just realized that every Rachel I have known or know, I don't really like.
Maybe in my past life, I knew a bitch named Rachel.
Maybe not.
Either way, I still hate them. I refuse to make friends with Rachels.
hahaha.

:] 9 days til I go to Ohio!
My brother is coming this weekend, joy joy.
I love my fam.

PS. English 3 exam & American History Honors Test. A+

jezzii @ 2005-12-09T18:36:00

2005-12-09T23:47:05Z

I've been so weak lately.
Physically.
I don't know why. I can't walk or stand for very long.
I don't feel sick, I feel fine mentally.
My talked to my teacher and she said maybe I should start taking more vitamins. Makes sense.
I can barely type. It's that weak, flimsy feeling you get in your body.. kinda like you're just skin, no bones.
I'll get better soon hopefully.

A lot of things are changing in my life right now.
I'm not sure if it's good or bad.
Good, maybe.
I'm doing very well in school. Almost straight A's.
I haven't had all A's and B's since middle school.
My boyfriend and I are probably the best we've been in a while.
I'm glad we're getting along because we love each other, we want things to work out.
I never realized how much I take for granted.
Spiritually, I don't know what's going on. I'm doing a lot of thinking.
Thinking, thinking, thinking.

I guess the only thing I don't have in my life that I wish I did were true friends -- close friends.
Or maybe just one close friend. One that is always there for me and I'm always there for her.
I need someone to confide in. Really confide in.
Slumber parties, that call in the middle of the night, the shoulder when you need it.
Maybe it's not real. Wishful thinking is all it is.

(Maybe I can't get a really close friend because no one can compare to my boyfriend? Who knows)

16 days til Ohio.

Over & out.

jezzii @ 2005-11-30T17:55:00

2005-11-29T22:57:43Z

I like food.
Please, eat with me.
Thanks.
Bye.

jezzii @ 2005-11-28T16:10:00

2005-11-27T21:13:23Z

I've recently discovered that I actually like to annoy people.

It's fun! :D
and free!
woopee!

jezzii @ 2005-11-12T12:42:00

2005-11-12T17:50:47Z

Well, well, well.
I got my room painted & It's pretty shaaweet.
It's jalapeno green. I have pink trim on my door & white on the closet and window.
One wall is half green / half white because we got tired of painting. It's still cool.
It still needs some touch ups but other than that, it's neatttttttttttt.
It looks more yellow during the day but as it gets darker in my room, it gets greener.
Not like you care, but it's cool.

I definitely need to clean my room. It needs to be pimped up.
I'll take pictures once every thing is sexy.

haha. My boyfriend decided to break up with me & ask me back out on 11/11.. he has some sort of obsession with double elevens...

Anyway, 6 days til our 3 year anniversary (unless he wanted to start over at 0..)
44 days until I go to Ohio. <3

Time to clean!

jezzii @ 2005-11-07T20:18:00

2005-11-08T01:19:14Z

you are NOT scene & you are NOT hard(OMGGGXXX)core so get a life.

jezzii @ 2005-11-05T10:37:00

2005-11-05T15:46:51Z

hehe

jezzii @ 2005-10-17T11:24:00

2005-10-17T15:40:40Z

This weekend... well, I really don't know what to say.
I spent the weekend with Jennifer -- just Jennifer, basically.
Yes, we went to Amber's house. 2 hours away from Naples.. and what happens?
... She's too busy with the friends that she sees every day to hang out with us.
It kind of pissed me off as well when she said, "You guys are just trying to ruin my fun. Are you trying to ruin my homecoming?"
I don't care she went to homecoming. It would have been nice if she came back before 1am though since it was our last night staying. (She went to sleep right after she got home.)
For a brief period of time, we were thinking of leaving.
I, personally, would have felt pretty bad. Amber's mom knew how we felt and was trying to make us feel better. She rented movies for us and bought us junk food. Next time, I'm going to make sure that her mom's weekend is free because Rebecca made us feel more welcome than Amber did.
I think it'll be a while before I go back up there again... and hopefully it won't turn out like this again.

Coming back from Arcadia, Jennifer and I went to go see my grandma. I love her. She just came down from Ohio on Thursday. She made us dinner and everything. It was good. :)
Thennnn, we hung out with Ivan and that's pretty much it.

Hmm. I love my boyfriend. Next month is our three year anniversary. I find it kind of sad that we haven't even been able to spend any anniversaries with each other. We're going to celebrate when I go there in December, though. I can't wait. I love every moment I spend with him.

Just another two months and a week until complete bliss.

By the way, I took my drug test & polygraph tests for my job and all is going very well. I've passed both tests so I'm just waiting for that phone call now. :)

jezzii @ 2005-09-29T20:35:00

2005-09-30T00:35:32Z

I have my formal interview to work at the police department tomorrow.
I'm extremely nervous because I really don't know how to act around these people.

I'd just like to say I hate Mrs. Cornacchia's Web Design class because she doesn't even know wtf she's doing. She just tells us to get our HTML together to put our resumes on the internet and then off to her desk she goes. Thanks for teaching us, Cornacchia. At least I know pretty good HTML already or else I'd probably be f'ing screwed.

I was looking at my (super) old livejournal from about 8th grade. There used to be so much drama.
Then I called Amber, 'cause I missed her.
Supposedly, Bettina doesn't want to go to Amber's birthday party because Jennifer and I are going and she thinks we're going to start shit with her. I wouldn't even waste my time. I don't hate Bettina and I don't care if she goes to Amber's party. I just don't care. She will never believe it, either.

I also saw Kay today. She's looking kind of ... plump.

PS. I got my super-emo glasses today.
They're kind of awesome... & pink. haha

jezzii @ 2005-09-25T21:09:00

2005-09-26T01:10:50Z

Dec. 26th - Jan. 9th.
my planned dates for being in Ohio. I'm excited.
We're going to have our own little Christmas. :)
It kinda sucks because I could have been there for Christmas, but then I wouldn't be able to stay for our birthdays and such.

Anyway, school is fine, I guess.
That's basically it.